♥ ♥ Why does every moment have to be so hard... ♥ ♥

Everyday StoriesYYY

Wednesday, April 23, 2008,11:08 PM

Beware of the Top Relationship Killer

Came across this 'Relationships for Dummies' book, i picked it up as it looks interesting.

There are alot of theories mentioned in it. Some are just basic knowledge, some as what we already know, just that this book lists them out word by word, so your thoughts get more organized as you read through. although, some i find them quite contradicting.

i've not finish the whole of it, as it is very thick and i seldom have the time to read.
while i was reading, i found this theory to be of some truth to it.

Elements of Compatibility by Importance

This was grouped into 3 different categories:
- Must haves
- Good to have
- Don't need to have

Must haves
The elements in this category is extremely important, direct impact to the relationship, and is very difficult to change.
They are:
- Honesty
- Trust
- Loyalty
- Monogamy
- Maturity
- Psychological health
- Shared relationship goal
- Timing

Good to have
These are moderately important and difficult to change.
The elements:
- Good communication
- Fun & chemistry
- Compatible intelligence
- Physical attraction
- Sexual compatibility
- Similar interests
- Similar investment/power in the relationship
- Similar life goals/plans
- Similar financial views & practices
- Shared history
- Support of family/friends
- Similar culture, race, & religion
- Perseverance

Don't need to have
- Same taste in dressing
- Same neighbourhood
- Same education
- Same politics
- Same marital/family status

I only feel some truth to this, partially.
i beg to differ for some of these categorization.
For e.g., i find 'good communication' and 'similar financial views & practices' to be of great importance, and they should be included in the 'must haves', instead of only 'good to have'.

Monetary issues has always been the no.1 relationship killer, the ultimate root of quarrels.
Mine is of no exception.
we've a 180degree difference in our monetary view, the way we make decisions whether to spend or not. frankly speaking, i'm very much unhappy with his way of spending. i'm not saying that i'm very good at saving, but at least i resist and tried to be disciplined in my spendings and avoid buying unnecessary things. if i can live without it, den that would not be a necessity, but instead, its a 'want' or can be considered a 'luxury'. however, i do, once in a while, allow myself to indulge in the temptation, buy nice and cute snacks and candies etc, or spend on good meals on special occasions. but still, before any purchase, i would think very hard before buying it, just to avoid overspending on stuffs that i can live without or worse, regretting the purchase or end up not using it at all.
true, that he is always able to get a reason to support his purchase, however, i find that i couldn't agree with him. you see anything on the shelf, and you immediately think of a way that it is going to help you, and you made no hesitation to buy it. at this rate that you're going, no amount of hard work is going to help you achieve the ultimate goal. because, there are hundreds and thousands of products out there that you thought you require (need). you wouldn't earn enough to get them all, much less to say.. saving up for what you had in mind. with this, i have a strong feeling that this wouldn't even take place in the next ten years, to think i'm naively thinking that this can be brought forward to another year or two, since you sounded so sincere. but words will only be words.. it will not change anything if you don't work for it.
i can see you've tried, but just hoping that we can be more synchronize. i don't wish for our relationship to be jeopardized just because of the disagreement in this issue. however, if we do not come to a conclusion quick enough, i'm afraid both parties will suffer, as no doubt, this issue is an on-going matter.

now, here i am, listening to the songs that were played throughout in my previous job.
reminiscing the days when i was still working in ac........

Labels: ~心事~, general

Saturday, July 07, 2007,12:12 AM

who knows how i'm feeling all inside?

when i can't voice out.
when im not able to.
when im deprived of a chance to.
when im TOTALLY NOT given a choice.

who knows how i'm feeling all inside?

- im feeling terrible -

its pain beyond words.
i'm dying.

-----------------------------------------

what kind of shit have i gotten myself into.
what kind of shit.
i'm tired of these. tired of...
really. what am i trying to do.
i'm not the only human living; so its not only me who will be dragged into these mess & get hurt.
they are all innocent.

who knows what i want.

i can't even make up my own mind.

i really would like nothing better than to disappear frm all these.

i'm a coward. don't talk to me.

Labels: ~心事~

Thursday, June 21, 2007,11:52 PM

what's the point of starving myself? what do i expect frm it?
other than being foolish..
i'm the one who is suffering in the end.

i hoped that tml will come & go quickly. really want my life back to normal..
its almost too painful to look at u.
the smile that i forcefully painted on my face.. the aching that my heart feels, i almost break down. but of cos, i held back.
those words you said.. were deeply embedded inside my mind.
they once, made me felt on clouds nine.. but now. they hurt.
hurts everytime when they just appeared inside my mind.
i wondered why did u say those words in the first place.

its so damn funny, sometimes i just want to laugh.
how strangers can turn into friends; & then, back to strangers again.
& all these happens within days..

friends.. yeah.. do u have friends that don't even talk?

its.. almost TOO ridiculous.

FATE.
its such a stupid thing.
i would like to challenge u. i'll be ready the next time. come on, give me your best shot. regardless of the outcome.. i will not regret.
life is too short to dwell in the past. i've got to move on. i don't wish to live my life in regret.
i've alrdy countless regrets & i'm tired of them.
i'll try my very best to live my everyday life.

*This is VERY important*
i'll let no one affect my mood.
sad/ happy - it all depends on me
i MUST rmb this. must must must...

*needing some peace & quiet.. to heal my wounds..

Labels: ~心事~

Friday, June 08, 2007,12:47 AM

got a dream last night..
i went to a place with him. & at that place, i saw you. a girl placed her hands on yours, & you held them.. at that particular moment, i felt sad. no jealousy involved. just pure sadness. i thought i was over you, ever since that day when i'm out with you. so am i or am i not.
damn. don't even know how my heart is feeling. who on earth will live their lives like mine, who don't even know what she wants. arghh.

rmbed i've mentioned abt the new part-timer who is more petite in size than me? lol.
she's Annie. & she's so cute.. haha.. a little like xiao mei mei. only a year younger than me. woa. so long since i have that big sister feeling liaoZ. hehe. she is like so good to bully. heh heh =P but now i also know why they liked to 'bully' me le =S
& here's our photo *cheese!*

~damn! we are SO ORANGE!!! =X~

she gave me a present when she left the shop today. its a watch. wah. didn't expect it at all. so kind of.. shou chong ruo jing. haha.

she said i am a great friend she found at AC. woa.. i'm SO touched.. =')

hee.

felt some pain in my stomach at abt 12+.. thought i got hungry so soon, den got gastric pain. faster grabbed a bar of Cadbury plain milk chocolate & munched. hmm? still got gastric pain? eh... realised later that its bcos of something else. cramps. Lol O_o..

anyway. today someone came to the shop & looked for me lorX. i alrdy asked him not to come & find me liao, otherwise i will tickle his 'sensitive part'.

then later, still say i wanna eat his tofu -_______-"

what the hell.......

i rather die of starvation den eat your ~~precious~~ tofu can T.T

aiya, its also bcos he got a gathering of some sort den can 'shun bian' wait for me & went back together lor.

however.. i felt very bad lei, cos made him waited for approx. 35mins before we could finally leave (i needed to do closing mar)..

but..... haiyo, made me so flustered & gan cheong to ensure i could leave asap, that i've forgotten to do something important. stunned. after i was reaching home den almost need to return back to shop again. haiz.. all i can hoped for now, is that Jerry will arrive with stocks in the afternoon. otherwise, i tink mayb i die liao wor...

sianZ. don't know why i'm so forgetful.

HAIZZ....

looking on the bright side ------------> i don't have work tml! =)

i'm still considering if i want to extend my last day or not. after all those extra rules added........ made my decision to extend wavered a little. at least 20%.

few days without seeing Saiful/ Jimmy/ Einstein ard.... makes work seems tiring & boring all of a sudden. Percentage of waver: Increased to 60%

LOL!!! =Pp

Labels: ~心事~, at work, general, happy

Thursday, June 07, 2007,12:05 AM

Jimmy on MC!
left me with a part-timer.
luckily he called early, den i found another part-timer to help also.
he so damn good. tuesday off, wed MC, thurs OFF!
best liao lor T.T

woa, i can't go toilet, eat/go break in peace at all.
just leave shop for nearly 2mins, making payment for stuffs i bought, my hp ring.

"eh. cust wants to pay using credit cards! how?"
"ok, i'll be back in a min"

he was surprised how i managed to get back so fast. LOL.
reason being, i was only a storey below. haha.

breaktime. din dare to go far to have my lunch. so just takeaway.
lucky wor. right after i 'da-bao' only, another phone call.

"customer wants to exchange! how ar?"

hahaha......
funny lei.

ate my lunch at a seat not far frm shop.
halfway thru..
"aye!!! come back, faster!!!!!!"

wah. i so paiseh, one hand carry my half-eaten food, cultery. the other, my bubble tea & my hp. den RUN back! so many ppl staring. haha

anyway. its still ok. makes my life Interesting mar....
LOL >_<

anyway, the song "get your hands up" by Fergie is like quite nice. haha. initially hate it alot, thought its so noisy. grown to like it alot now. mayb its bcos "爱屋及乌" bah =P
wahaha..

*******************************
i think i will be happier without you in my life.
i think so.

but will you change your attitude towards me, if I've become the special someone in your life?

if u would treat me better than now..........

lets be together.

i'm confused

Labels: ~心事~, at work, rumbling^

Wednesday, June 06, 2007,1:01 AM

a new part-timer came to work at my shop today. she is so tiny. more smaller in size den me. finally found someone whom i can put my arm on the shoulder. wa.ha.ha.

all is well. till...

i'm having a really foul mood today, i felt i could just ask the customers to get out IMMEDIATELY so that i can close shop ok. niam all the way to my collegue during closing. some assholes. she still thought its either she offended me/ i got period -_______-"
but its neither.
my face is so damn 'black'. & million apologies to ppl who tried talking to me. cos i just snapped at them. blame it on my super bad mood if u want.
so don't talk to me if u dun want to be snap at.
-------------------------

Kor is right abt him. He is not serious & everything he said was well, not true i think. to think i stood up for him, that i've known him for a long time & even swear that he is a 100% good person & one of the very few in the world. i guessed i was wrong abt him.
but i really hoped that i've misunderstood.
i'm not feeling angry. disappointment is the major emotion.
why is it that i'm disappointed.
to which is the reason behind my disappointment?
i thought its clear enough for you to see.

P.S. pls tell me that i'm not wrong about you. i'm very confused.

***************************************************************
I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Labels: ~心事~, moody, pissed off, sadness

Sunday, May 13, 2007,12:12 AM

damn suay this month.
got so many cuts & scratches. even my contact lens came off. they just dropped off like that. twice in 6days!!! its on the same side somemore!!!! what the!?!!
wasted my contact lens. luckily im using monthly. otherwise......... urghh {{$}}
hope the rest of the days can be more smooth sailing *pls pls pls...*

i got so damn emotional, that i just excused myself & went inside the toilet cubicle & cried my heart out loud.
i'm, like, a rubberband that is being stretched to its limit. the 2nd sms pushed me to the maximum length, & 'piak', hot tears flowed.
anyway, i felt so much better after that :)
sometimes, stress/ any unhappiness can be let out, simply by crying out loud. just one (big) good cry can make u feel SO much better.

i can't be bothered after that. i don't care alrdy.

Labels: ~心事~, general, moody

Wednesday, May 09, 2007,8:32 PM

i'm so hurt right now.
so hurt..
the way.. your eyes can't seems to see me.
much less to say, ur heart.

i've got nothing to say.
other than this.

my mind is in a blank.
nothing is worth thinking abt now.
nothing matters.
(other than U)

Labels: ~心事~, moody

Sunday, May 06, 2007,11:03 PM

gotta share with u guys a totally cool album.
its by a singer in london called Mika. & the album's name is Life in Cartoon Motion.
i thought its really nice. it has a good mixture of rock & pop. superb!

*******************
anyway, to conclude my mood for today, its: excited -> elated -> sad -> happy -> angry

i dun wanna go to sleep feeling mad. i think i can hardly slp. shucks.

*******************
anyway, check out the music i've placed on blog.
Mika's My Interpretation

loved the lyrics.
how true. my mood now is being sang out.

*'Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again.
This is not about emotion,
I don't need a reason not to care what you say,
Or what happened in the end.
This is my interpretation,
And it don't, don't make sense.*

but..

i do care if I ever talk to you again.

back to my stupid moods again.
its all thanks to u. how nice.

Labels: ~心事~, moody

,9:06 PM

CHECKMATE!!!

i'm so clever. haha. really. or at least i tot so ba. heex. its bcos of some happy matters that i have managed to get on hand. shan't say much. but i'm so crazily happy too!

-----------------------
but now.. i'm feeling soOo jealous. yes. my heart.. arghh.. feels so tight. my lungs can hardly breathe :'(((
i feel so...xin ku, so terrible. long time since i felt this way anymore.
feel like screaming as loud as i can.
shouting out my inner thoughts. humph..

-----------------------
nevertheless.. today is still considered an enjoyable day.. that is, until i heard something (which totally spoilt my happy mood). glad that its almost alrdy the end of the day.. sigh :((

i'm happy at one time. i'm sad at the next.
what's wrong with me.

yup. so i'm really sad now. sob.

[plastered]

love can really make someone go crazy.

Labels: ~心事~, general, happy

Tuesday, April 17, 2007,4:19 PM

Dear Diary.

its stay-at-home day today. but its still hard to decide what to do on a nice, breezy afternoon, as i hardly had time to relax myself for quite some time. i've got so many magazines unread, dvds unwatch, blogs unwritten etc.
i'm sry to keep u under negligence for such a long time, so i've decided to update u prior to anything else as an apology (smiles)

everyday is a routine & time passes so slowly.
sometimes when i'm required to do a certain task, i'll be grumbling under my breath and thinking why am i putting myself to such torture & grievance. & this feeling is especially so when i saw school students chatting happily away while browsing inside my shop. such a torture!

some customers are sooo stupid.
ok, i won't say stupid, wooden-head perhaps.

One of the MANY examples:

Mini Water Dispenser

Cust X: how to put the bottle onto the dispenser? the water won't flow out meh?
Me: u can invert it to insert.
Cust X: what invert? what u mean?
Me: invert as in.. (i demo- hold the mini water dispenser upside-down, & upright again)
Cust X: OH!!
Me [roll-eyes] : (duh)

come on lar, use your brain to think. however small, u still will have a brain right. i hate it when customers give me that 'really? u mean it really can fly?' reply. what do i gain for lying to you my dear. a complaint frm CASE maybe. duh.
--------------------------------------------

my hands have become so dry liao. cos have to do house-keeping and carrying/packing of some bulky stocks. nails have cracked too. due to the putting in/taking out of batteries frm the battery compartment of the toys. haha.
sorry for complaining too much today. but i'm sure u will not hold it against me, right diary? a fair-weather friend :)

& speaking of fair-weather friend, laggy has returned to S'pore alrdy. hee!
went out with her to catch up on the old times & take neoprints! haha. we both are neoprint-idiots. so excited bcos there is time limit.had much fun playing around.
she even came especially to have lunch with me yest.
what a great friend, BFF!!
---------------------------------------------

its been so long since i last saw u.
i kinda miss u.
but there is no way i can contact u.
no contact number, no email address, no - nothing.
haiz.
do u think of me too?

Love
Shamain

p.s. the neoprints that we took :))

Labels: ~心事~, general, rumbling^

Monday, March 19, 2007,9:13 PM

its not long since i last saw u.

but.
i've been thinking of you..

ever since the first time i really know you in person.

u're as mysterious as ever.
& i knew little about u.

(i ask myself) do i really like u?
it has been ages since anyone has set inside my mind for so long.
u appeared in my thoughts ever so soon.

are you really deep-rooted within my heart?
or is it just another silly crush..

the truth is.
i'm afraid of getting hurt, even just before anything has happen.

don't get close to me anymore.
though.
i often wish for me to see you again
as soon as possible.

i wish to see you ever so often - now
-
however
-
~~i wish for u not to appear in front of me anymore.~~

perhaps.
my confused feelings will fade as time goes by.
..........

shld i be braver?

& get to know more abt him
before i decide on anything?

=)

ok.

I Am Brave.

*grin*

Labels: ~心事~

Wednesday, February 28, 2007,1:33 AM

感情事：真是烦

after one big round..
the person left with no one is...
ME?!

哈哈..

为什么？

is it because? ...

gosh..
look at what i am saying.

tink i must be too tired.

ya.
that must be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
laggy, i miss u so much..
please come back earlier.
fast. fast. 快点..
i've got lots to share with u :((

Labels: ~心事~