Everyday StoriesYYY
Wednesday, April 23, 2008,11:08 PM
Beware of the Top Relationship Killer
Came across this 'Relationships for Dummies' book, i picked it up as it looks interesting.
There are alot of theories mentioned in it. Some are just basic knowledge, some as what we already know, just that this book lists them out word by word, so your thoughts get more organized as you read through. although, some i find them quite contradicting.
i've not finish the whole of it, as it is very thick and i seldom have the time to read.
while i was reading, i found this theory to be of some truth to it.
Elements of Compatibility by ImportanceThis was grouped into 3 different categories:
- Must haves
- Good to have
- Don't need to have
Must havesThe elements in this category is extremely important, direct impact to the relationship, and is very difficult to change.They are:- Honesty- Trust- Loyalty- Monogamy- Maturity- Psychological health- Shared relationship goal- TimingGood to haveThese are moderately important and difficult to change.The elements:- Good communication- Fun & chemistry- Compatible intelligence- Physical attraction- Sexual compatibility- Similar interests- Similar investment/power in the relationship- Similar life goals/plans- Similar financial views & practices- Shared history- Support of family/friends- Similar culture, race, & religion- PerseveranceDon't need to have- Same taste in dressing- Same neighbourhood- Same education- Same politics- Same marital/family statusI only feel some truth to this, partially.
i beg to differ for some of these categorization.
For e.g., i find 'good communication' and 'similar financial views & practices' to be of great importance, and they should be included in the 'must haves', instead of only 'good to have'.
Monetary issues has always been the no.1 relationship killer, the ultimate root of quarrels.
Mine is of no exception.
we've a 180degree difference in our monetary view, the way we make decisions whether to spend or not. frankly speaking, i'm very much unhappy with his way of spending. i'm not saying that i'm very good at saving, but at least i resist and tried to be disciplined in my spendings and avoid buying unnecessary things. if i can live without it, den that would not be a necessity, but instead, its a 'want' or can be considered a 'luxury'. however, i do, once in a while, allow myself to indulge in the temptation, buy nice and cute snacks and candies etc, or spend on good meals on special occasions. but still, before any purchase, i would think very hard before buying it, just to avoid overspending on stuffs that i can live without or worse, regretting the purchase or end up not using it at all.
true, that he is always able to get a reason to support his purchase, however, i find that i couldn't agree with him. you see anything on the shelf, and you immediately think of a way that it is going to help you, and you made no hesitation to buy it. at this rate that you're going, no amount of hard work is going to help you achieve the
ultimate goal. because, there are hundreds and thousands of products out there that you thought you require (need). you wouldn't earn enough to get them all, much less to say.. saving up for what you had in mind. with this, i have a strong feeling that this wouldn't even take place in the next ten years, to think i'm naively thinking that this can be brought forward to another year or two, since you sounded so sincere. but words will only be words.. it will not change anything if you don't work for it.
i can see you've tried, but just hoping that we can be more synchronize. i don't wish for our relationship to be jeopardized just because of the disagreement in this issue. however, if we do not come to a conclusion quick enough, i'm afraid both parties will suffer, as no doubt, this issue is an on-going matter.
now, here i am, listening to the songs that were played throughout in my previous job.
reminiscing the days when i was still working in ac........
Labels: ~心事~, general
_-*Shamain*-_
