Came across this 'Relationships for Dummies' book, i picked it up as it looks interesting.
There are alot of theories mentioned in it. Some are just basic knowledge, some as what we already know, just that this book lists them out word by word, so your thoughts get more organized as you read through. although, some i find them quite contradicting.
i've not finish the whole of it, as it is very thick and i seldom have the time to read. while i was reading, i found this theory to be of some truth to it.
Elements of Compatibility by Importance
This was grouped into 3 different categories: - Must haves - Good to have - Don't need to have
Must haves The elements in this category is extremely important, direct impact to the relationship, and is very difficult to change. They are: - Honesty - Trust - Loyalty - Monogamy - Maturity - Psychological health - Shared relationship goal - Timing
Good to have These are moderately important and difficult to change. The elements: - Good communication - Fun & chemistry - Compatible intelligence - Physical attraction - Sexual compatibility - Similar interests - Similar investment/power in the relationship - Similar life goals/plans - Similar financial views & practices - Shared history - Support of family/friends - Similar culture, race, & religion - Perseverance
Don't need to have - Same taste in dressing - Same neighbourhood - Same education - Same politics - Same marital/family status
I only feel some truth to this, partially. i beg to differ for some of these categorization. For e.g., i find 'good communication' and 'similar financial views & practices' to be of great importance, and they should be included in the 'must haves', instead of only 'good to have'.
Monetary issues has always been the no.1 relationship killer, the ultimate root of quarrels. Mine is of no exception. we've a 180degree difference in our monetary view, the way we make decisions whether to spend or not. frankly speaking, i'm very much unhappy with his way of spending. i'm not saying that i'm very good at saving, but at least i resist and tried to be disciplined in my spendings and avoid buying unnecessary things. if i can live without it, den that would not be a necessity, but instead, its a 'want' or can be considered a 'luxury'. however, i do, once in a while, allow myself to indulge in the temptation, buy nice and cute snacks and candies etc, or spend on good meals on special occasions. but still, before any purchase, i would think very hard before buying it, just to avoid overspending on stuffs that i can live without or worse, regretting the purchase or end up not using it at all. true, that he is always able to get a reason to support his purchase, however, i find that i couldn't agree with him. you see anything on the shelf, and you immediately think of a way that it is going to help you, and you made no hesitation to buy it. at this rate that you're going, no amount of hard work is going to help you achieve the ultimate goal. because, there are hundreds and thousands of products out there that you thought you require (need). you wouldn't earn enough to get them all, much less to say.. saving up for what you had in mind. with this, i have a strong feeling that this wouldn't even take place in the next ten years, to think i'm naively thinking that this can be brought forward to another year or two, since you sounded so sincere. but words will only be words.. it will not change anything if you don't work for it. i can see you've tried, but just hoping that we can be more synchronize. i don't wish for our relationship to be jeopardized just because of the disagreement in this issue. however, if we do not come to a conclusion quick enough, i'm afraid both parties will suffer, as no doubt, this issue is an on-going matter.
now, here i am, listening to the songs that were played throughout in my previous job. reminiscing the days when i was still working in ac........
went to parkway parade yesterday. coincidentally, it was our 2nd visit to PP for both of us. easily explainable, the place was out of reach, no direct mrt station. but it is quite an alternative to a busy place. there are plenty of eateries, snack shops and restaurants around. finally decided on eating fish & co. didn't shop around much due to the long waiting & dining time we experienced at fish & co. ordered a seafood platter for two, plus a fish & chip. the table was filled with so much food that the first time that came to our mind was, 'we can't finish these.'.. haha. i know about the seafood platter for one, but there isn't any mussels.. managed to finish most of the food except for the fries (quite tasteless, not crispy and can make you super full) and the calamari (too chewy and salty). the food is satisfactory, price is quite reasonable, since its once in a while for me to have this kinda good meal with him. took lots of photos and video of him eating. haha. i love to see the way he enjoys his food :) but of course, the photos are for my eyes only =P
he sort of gave me a surprise. beforehand, he gave me a white tshirt with some prints of 2 angels and levis' wordings. then, he kept asking if i was wearing it yesterday. didn't suspect anything at all, (not that i'm slow) cos i thought he wasn't one who would do this. haha. den when he came to fetch me from workplace, i still didn't sense anything, until when he turned and get into the lift, did i saw that familiar print on his white shirt. !!! den the whole thing made sense. haha. and the shirt that he gave to me is all the more meaningful, grew to love it even more :) my first ever couple tee :D muacks
really wanted to talk to him on the line, even though we just parted. while waiting, i fell asleep and when i woke up after 10~15mins to reply him, my nose was blocked, yet i kept sneezing continuously. its like breathing through a stuffed furry toy, i felt things clogging up my nose and windpipe. very terrible feeling, i couldn't sleep, even though i'm very tired and my eyes wanted very much to close. my body felt really warm and was perspiring cold sweat. not sure for how long i was kept awake, i managed to sleep. recalling the nights when i just started work at my current job, i was experiencing the same thing, until i was really worn out. i think i had caught a cold. and this is bad. going to have sleepless nights. now as i type this entry, the cold is back again and i'm breaking out in cold sweat......
It was the worst April Fool 'joke' that I've received. Except that it wasn't a joke. and it wasn't comical at all.
this incident happened on the night of April 1.
i totally cannot understand him! why must he go to that extent of doing things? it is way overboard and beyond his job scope and if she continues to be late, how long can he do this to 'help' her? 1 week? 1 month? or is it 1 year??
however hard i tried to think, no matter from which side i view this, i still don't see the point and find it totally ridiculous and redundant. furthermore, i'm sure none of the girls on Earth, with a sound mind will allow this to happen.
for the first time, i was so overcome with anger, and bitterness as well. i couldn't think straight. all sorts of negative thinking kept playing in my mind. i'm so frustrated and irritated. i really feel like exploding right at that moment. i wanted very much to scream at the top of my lungs! however, because it is the wee hours, i couldn't. thus, i sobbed uncontrollably, crying buckets of tears and throwing all the things on my bed onto the floor. this time round, the tears are bitter and hot.
why will i react so strongly? imagine suddenly knowing all these in the middle of the night (with no explanation, no heads no tails), how would you feel? i still cannot get over it. i get depressed just by thinking of it.
sure, you don't mind if you were in my shoes. you're cool.
i realised that we really have a different set of thinking. initially, i thought this will not affect us. but i thought wrong.
I've just passed the age of what you called, teenagers. So ya, as much as I hate to admit. I'm officially an adult now. Time to grow up and be independent.
I'm a clumsy person. More often than not, I do not know what I want. Meaning, I contradict myself. I love myself, but I hate that I have this tendency to think too much - hence, explained the creation of this blog.
♥Loves
#1 [my Soulmate]
#2 [my Baobei]
#3 [my Baby]
--> ♥Saiful Azfar♥: This guy got me mesmerized.
#1 World Peace
(blah. That wish is meant for Miss Universe; not me.)
#2 Indulging in
- Attention
- Love
- Genuine Care
- Concern (from my Love)
#3 Plane ride
#4 See snow #5 Pink Nintendo DS Lite #6 Pink Laptop
#7 Anything given by *him* #8 Small Bolster
#9 xX SecRet Xx
_-*Shamain*-_
