Everyday StoriesYYY
Saturday, December 01, 2007,6:27 PM
Stuck Up Life
i wish that i could find the words to say.
but im speechless.
home alone today..
and i'm loving it..
some peace and quietness, to think and ponder.
i didn't have any food at all, except for the tiny chocolate pie for brunch, which, halfway through, did i realised that it had expired months ago.
still i finished it, anyway no one cares.
don't feel like having my dinner too. so tedious to get out of my hse and buy.
i seem to be crying alot more these days, due to numerous reasons.
with every word exchanged, my dislike for him seems to grow.
everytime a conversation starts, the subject will always be that topic.
it will be followed by some hurtful comments.
and of course, he is not the reason that im crying over. that would just be a waste of my tears. crying only because i felt that i've been wrong, and also the unjust i feel for her. of course he wouldn't want to revert back to previously, the reason is so obvious!
i really feel that i'm very useless, with so many anger boiling inside me and injustice faced, but i can't voice out or retort back. what's the use of plain weeping.
those were also the words he said years ago, and what's with him now.
everything is being said by him; all the craps. and now being taken back. as if he didn't promise them at all.
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reality.
its really that harsh.
what's with that people look for you when they are in need of you, or when they need you to help them with something. when its not this case, they will disappear and you will not hear from them. until, you initiate the conversation, they had no choice but to reply back a few sentences or so, just to get you off their back.
when you need them by your side, to hear about the things happening in your life, your happiness or your troubles and sorrows, more often than not, they are not there for you.
not only friends, even people you love or claims that they love you.
i only feel used.
who really knows what i'm going through everyday.
"No one."
why is my life this messy.
when will i see the light shining through these darkness.
Labels: sadness
_-*Shamain*-_
